Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize