Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
