I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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