How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
