it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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