Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
