My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
