Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
