Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
