You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
