i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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