you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
