Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
