VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
