all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
