I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
