god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize