someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
