I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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