OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
