ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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