Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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