If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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