so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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