pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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