he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize