If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
