My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
