You really coming over, don't trick.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
