so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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