Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize