so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
