i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
