Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
