Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think people are normalizing furries
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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