I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
