wanna go halves on a baby?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
