Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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