Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
