I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
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Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
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I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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