Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
