idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize