omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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