normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
