you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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