you guys were way drunker than both of me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
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cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
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For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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