Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I will be naked everywhere
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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