If i come over, it means nothing
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
