Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
