I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
