maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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