I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
