"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
