do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
