Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
