I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
