woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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