How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
