all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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