I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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